Athena's World

Well It has been a while since I have updated. I started working at Red Roof down in South Pasadena. It's great. It may be Pizza Hut, but its not. Being a waitress is different. Even though I did get pushed into being one... I made 50 bucks in tips last night in just 4 hours. Not To bad. I'm just going to stay with them for a about a year and then go find another job. I just needed something to put on job applications.

I can't wait to move out of this hell hole. It sucks. First of all we moved with Will. Big mistake. His room is trashed with trash and he keeps taking my good silverware (the set i got for my wedding). I can't stand that. Everything is broken in this apartment and the office lost our money order. We're starting to look for new apartment or a house. We're not sure yet. We found this one place It's very nice. Here's a link... http://forrent.com/search/detail.asp?site=999909357. We're looking at the 2 bedroom/2 bath with the loft. We can afford and it is not too bad. We're probably moving with Jason. He's cool. Alot better than Will. But we still are not sure where to go yet.

James hasn't talked to his mom since our wedding back in June. I'm kind of glad. lol No Drama. James never tried to butt into her life and ruin her relationship. why was she? We both think it was because she is unhappy and she doesn't want anyone else to be happy. It's very immature. I guess her birthday was today. I'm just glad i don't have to see her. It'll be a sad day when she can't see her grandkids. Anyways I need to go get cleaning This is my day off and then i don't have another one til Friday. So I'll promise to update more...even though no one reads this lol

This is a test post from Photobucket.com

So I'm getting married to James on Valentine's Day!!! It's sooo exciting!!! I got my outfit and he has his!!! We're getting married at Sand Key Park in Clearwater at Sunset!!! I can't wait!!! James and I will be husband and wife!!!

We're moving from Emerald Pointe on the 21st!! Finally! Sandpiper is cool. I bought some sheets and some curtains the other day. Now I am just waiting to move in to see what else I need.

I start working in March. BLAH! I hate working lol. but it should be fun cause it is right next to James' work! Anyway I'll update more soon. See yall!

I'm officially engaged!!! He did at gulfport beach on this past Friday (The 17th) night!!! It was so exciting. I knew he was going to do it because he was acting like the first day he met me. Can you believe in June I'll be married!?! It's sooo exciting. I can't wait!!!

The ring is beautiful!!! Here's a link...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v620/AthenaGoddess/MyEngagementRing.jpg

We've been having alot of problems with our apartment. Here's our newest...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v620/AthenaGoddess/Picture130.jpg

I know disgusting right!?! Well our move out date is February 28. Can't wait. No more Will or EP.

Christmas is right around the corner! I can't wait! If i don't talk to anyone MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

My goodness it's been a while. I was bored from cleaning so I decided to write. Alot of happened...

James and I are practically engaged. He's asked my dad, but just hasn't gotten my ring or gotten down on one knee. We're looking at getting married in June. It's so exciting. But the only problem is HIS MOTHER! You know most of the time it is the Bride's family whining and complaining, but this time it's his MOM!! She's driving me insane. She ruined my thanksgiving! She brought up this whole outrageous story about how we never visit her and how we shouldn't be getting married. IT'S BULLCRAP! She keeps asking James if I am pregnant because I have to go to allergy DR. I told him just tell her I'm pregnant. It would make he happy because we have a reason other than love to get married. I should just show her my bloody pads. You think that would convince her?? (Sorry about all those details I just threw out there about my period) James said he's going to write a book called "Pearls of Wisdom: Words from My Mother. Featuring A Promise IS NOT FOREVER" Can you believe she said that?! I told him we shouldn't take advice from someone who has been married 3 times and is still married and working on her 4th!! UGHH!! Sorry She bothers me. I can already tell that she's going to be a problem. Oh well. She wants to get together for Christmas. But not on Christmas...She's wants to get together between Christmas and New Years. ISN'T THAT SAD? I told James we should take her up on her offer "I can have a good time with the holidays by myself" That's fine by me. Be like that. I Don't care...Sorry enough about James' crazy mother.

I can't wait til my wedding. Everyone is invited..All what 10 people lol. I want all the stuff. The Bachelorette Party and Bridal Shower with all the trimmings.

Christmas is like right around the corner! I can't wait. James is actually going to have an awesome Christmas. He's so excited. My parents have been awesome about everything. I love them so much.

James and I have a new edition to our small family. He bought me a new kitten for our 6 month anniversary. She's sooo cute. I'll have to put links to pictures are the bottom. Her name is Kelli! She's like a dog. She fetches, comes we she is called. Goodness I love her. But I miss Shadow. My mom said he ran away. :( James and I are going to the pound tomorrow to see if we can find him. He's my sweet 16 kitty!!

We move out of emerald pointe at the end of February! I can't wait. We're still looking for a place. Any place away from Will. Gosh I don't like him. He's so nasty! and he makes me upset! anyway I gotta get cleaning. I'll update more I promise!

Oh yeah here are some pictures!!

Our Kelli!!
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v620/AthenaGoddess/CuteKelly.jpg

Our Christmas Tree!!
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v620/AthenaGoddess/CopyofJamesandChristiesTree.jpg

Shadow Come Home!!
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v620/AthenaGoddess/ShadowKitty.jpg

I haven't updated in a while.

There is nothing really new. James' mom got angry at me. She's an odd woman. I don't understand her. It wasn't really any of her problem. But she's nosey. If i hear one more time about how I make someone clean up or How I am breaking up two brothers I'm going to go mad. I'm sick of here that crap. I don't understand. I tell James everyday How I don't want to break them up. But His mom hates me...

Volleyball is going good. It's weird coaching girls that are 1 year younger than me. I mean one of my good friends is on the team. It's weird when I have to tell her to do something.

I finally decided what to do with my life. I want to go get my Masters in Business and maybe minor in as a computer tech or something. I want to start going this coming semester at SPC, HCC, or CCC.

Chelsea is coming over. I should finish cleaning my room. I'll write more later.

Well today was interesting. I woke up and couldn't feel my left side of my arm, neck, shoulder, or fingers. I felt like crap. The place where I had gotten my tetanus shot (I had a dog bite) had swelled up and was red and hot. Turns out I had a really bad allergic reaction to it. My fever is pretty high 101.3. Which sucks. Oh well I'm sure I'll be fine. I have to take all these meds. Vicodin is one of them. I hope I don't get sick again from that...

I had to take out my navel ring. Turned out I had a severely allergic reaction to the nickel in Surgical Steel. The ER doctor said he hasn't seen one bad in a while. He said it would be fine if i take it out and let heal and then get it repierced with 14kt. Which I don't know alot of places that pierce with that. Oh well...I'll get it done before my wedding...

James and I are talking about dates. We're trying to decide between March, April, and May. I can't wait. I'm sooo excited...

We went and saw Princess Dairies 2 last night. VERY CUTE! I loved it. On our way out of the movies though. We got caught up in this fight between some hispanics and african americans because of my car being in the middle. I was scared cause this cop came running over to all of them yelling and threating to arrest people. He almost yelled at me, but he didn't cause I was getting into my car. If he did I would have gotten so pissed cause 1st of all just because I am hispanic doesn't mean I was caught up with those people and second of all I was walking to my car. Anyway that was interesting. i need to lay down though. My neck is hurting...

My head is throbbing so bad. I hate having migraines, but I have to deal with. I've been dealing with since I was 12. Which sucks. Oh well. Least I don't have to see that doctor each month. Just once a year...enough of my whining...

I just cooked dinner. Sausage Spaghetti. Always good. I still have to make the garlic bread. Now all I have to do is take a shower then go get my Jamey. I miss him. I've been watching the olympics all day. I love it when It comes. I remember when I was little I always wanted to be like Shannon Miller (Gymnastics). She was always so pretty and flexible. Carly Patterson kicked butt so did Paul Hamm (Cutie as always). I went shopping yesterday. I wear a freaking 36F in bras!! Well at least at Fredrick's. It's horrible. Oh well. I'm going on Atkins next week. Beef only!! I can't wait til I'm beautiful! My brithday is a month away. I'm getten older. It's fun. But I should go clean. Things need to be done. I'll write more later...

My life is going nowhere. I have no friends left but yeah oh well. I went out with Erik today. We played pool. Nice and boring. I'm going to have to find a job once again...and I just kind of wish I didn't have to grow up so fast. Started college at 16 didn't party never had a senior prom. I dunno. Maybe I'm just realizing life is going on and I'm just wanting to change things...I always told myself to never live my life in the past...what am I doing...

James and I playing yahoo! pool right now. It's fun. We have to be up at 8 to go to my parents house. My mom is taking us shopping in Ellenton. It'll be fun. Lizz had the baby. How awesome! CONGRATS YOU GUYS!!! Anyways I'll write more later...

It's been a while since I've updated. Nothing new really. I'm just cleaning the apartment up. Ya know the fun stuff like vacuuming and washing dishes.

I finally got rid of Mike. It's been about 2 weeks now since he has called. Which is very good. James and I are great, but he's depressed cause his mom isn't being his mom and his brother isn't being his brother. I don't think Will realizes how much he hurts James which proves how much Will only cares about himself...which is very sad...

My brother is living back with my family. I just don't feel comfortable living there until he leaves. James said I could stay here as long as I needed. I don't think he minds to much. That's another thing. I won't be able to go to college this semester. My parents don't have enough money to send both of us. Which I don't understand why he gets to go. but that's ok I guess...

Lin-z (My best friend in the whole world) came back from China all safe and sound. I missed her so much. I think she's the only one left that really understands and knows me. She had loads of fun there. She brought me back a "laughing budda" (the fat one with a smile) and a this really cool chinese braclet. Lin-z always knows what to get me. Her and Ethan are still together. Which is awesome. Hopefully they're getting engaged soon. They're so lucky to be starting there lives together. We can't figure out why Kristen won't talk to us. She's changed alot. She never answers her cell or anything. I miss he so much. I wish she would talk to me. Rachel's doing good I heard. Her and Jonathan are still together which is awesome. She's leaving soon to go off to england at Oxford. I wish I had her brains. Lucky girl...

Still no one will hire me. Walmart doesn't even want me. James told me I don't have to work. Which is great cause that has always been my dream to stay home and take care of my children. But people look down on that. I guess I'm old fashion about that. Oh well. I have to pick James up tonight then we are going to walmart to see how far we can stretch $30...

Well nothing very eventful. I've just been very depressed lately...

It seems like whatever I do Mike is still there. I think I am getting closer to getting rid of him. I mean that in the nicest way possible. I know it was sudden when we broke up, but he needs to move on. I still care and love him, but not the way he wants me too. I know he can change and I know he do things, but it's too late. I know it's never too late for love, but the only reason I really stayed with him past December is because we were going to get married and he was also my first. I'm hurt too, but I am trying to move on. He's making it harded to though, harder to have a proper relationship with James. Hopefully tomorrow will be the last day. I'm getting my stuff tomorrow...

James and I are doing great. We finally bought an air mattress and then his mom gave us one (pump too) its wonderful. I love it. It's almost like having a real bed. Today was our 2 month. It awesome. I just want to be with him all the time. I miss him so much...


Tomorrow my parents are leaving for 2 weeks. They said when they come back I better have a job. So I guess I'm traveling to walmart to get a application. Which is cool. I'll finally have something to do...

So much for my happy ending
oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...

Let's talk this over
It's not like we're dead
Was it something I did?
Was it something you said?
Don't leave me hanging
In a city so dead held up so high
On such a breakable thread

You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

CHORUS
You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
And all the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...

You've got your dumb friends
I know what they say
They tell you I'm difficult
But so are they
But they don't know me
Do they even know you?
All the things you hide from me
All the shit that you do

You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

CHORUS

It's nice to know that you were there
Thanks for acting like you cared
And making me feel like I was the only one
It's nice to know we had it all
Thanks for watching as I fall
And letting me know we were done

CHORUS X 2

oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...

Well I finally did it. I went and got my navel pierced on Friday night. I didn't really do it for anyone, but myself. I love it! Aaron went with me. He said I didn't even flinch. It's sore right now, but that's it. I told my mom about it. She was surprisingly cool about it. I can't wait til it heals. It'll be cool...

I'm falling more in debt. I have a 200 dollar credit card debt, 30 dollar bank debt, my insurance is getting higher cause I got that ticket (at least til I take the class), and I feel like I am asking my parents alot for money. I feel like a bum. I have no job. I've been looking. I got an application to Wal-mart. lol Me working at wal-mart..I know. But it's a job. I should go work at Pizza Hut because I basically know what goes on. It's not too hard. I don't know. I want to help out James so badly. I'm trying to stop asking him for stuff. Will is trying too. But James is just so far in. It's very hard to get out...

On that note. I get to see him today. Our first holiday. I really just wanted to go somewhere like the beach and just sit and talk like we did before (Friday night we drove up to St. Pete Beach at like 3 in the morning and just sat there holding each other. I told him we're just hopeless romantics). His mom called and said we can go sit with her at her bf's restaurant. Which is fine, but how can you been cooped up inside on the 4th of July? Oh well as long as I am with him, It doesn't really matter...

Well I should be going. I have to be getting ready for church. then I'm going to get ready to see James. YAY!!

Hey Sweetie First try and look what I got!

I guess I finally realized I need to grow up. Seeing that I am 18 and have practically been out of school since I was 16, I need to face the real world. All my life I have been naive and sheltered. I never had responsibility for anything.I need to stop being a doormat. For years I have let all my friends just take money, step on me, abuse me. I watched as my innocence was taken from me. I watched as I was beat down by someone I thought loved me. I'm sick of all this crap. I need to move on from everything in my past. Well the bad things at least. This past month I told my parents to let me go. To actually let me face/live my life. I've never had a real job past 14 (if you could even count being a waitress in New Jersey for 3 months). I need to wake up and face the facts that live is going on with or without and I need to get with it. I need responsibility in my life. I need a job. I need maturity. I need to be fully independent. Today is the start of my new life, new changes. I'm ready to face reality, I'm ready to face everything that comes with life. Pain, Heartache, Love, Happiness. I'm ready to start my life...

Today was a good day. Sort of. Pizza Hut screwed James over. The think he can't do his job. Well if his freaking RGM would get off his sorry behind and actually retrain James then It would be good. But his RGM is taking the easy way out. "We'll just put you as a cook because we don't think you should be in charge right now because we want you to not make a living because we don't actually want to do our job" Kiss my butt. That's crap. 20 hours a week. How can someone live off that? That's partly why I am getting a job. To help James out with bills. (weather he likes it or not) Will (His brother) helps out a little bit, but then yells at me when I clean up their apartment. He really hurt my feelings and made me feel like crap. I'm sick of standing up for Will. I actually felt bad for him, but he was a jerk to me. But everything will work out for James, hopefully. His really good friend Julie is a RGM at another PH and she needs a shift manager she can actually trust. That's where James comes into play. If he can transfer stores, then Julie can actually train him properly...

Mike and I are totally finished. I told him never call me again. I can't be his friend, when he still has some expectations of wanting to get back with me. I love him as a friend, not a boyfriend and I am not in love with him. He needs to realize that...

James and I are great though. I love him so much. I've never felt this way about anyone before. I don't care want other people think when it come too us rushing things. I've never wanted to be with someone so much. I hate when I am not with him. I have actually cried myself to sleep when I am not in his arms. I miss him so much. I am so deeply in love with him...

The past month has been nothing but a flash. It all started with one night (May 20) I was talking to Aaron (my ex). I was showing him some recent pictures of me and he had two friends over, James and Will. At the time Mike and I were on the outs, but hadn't really totally stopped talking to each other. That night Aaron called me and introduced me to James. I was a little skeptical just cause he was a guy and I was a girl and it is inevitable because I think every guy is out there to hurt me or I'll hurt every guy I am with. That night I think James and I talked for about an hour and a half. It was just amazing how I could talk to him. I remember he was very shy at first, but we still got along very well. The next 5 days went very fast. We talked for hours on end. I was rushing around with graduation and the day finally happened. We met on my graduation that night. I thought it would be odd, but it was awesome. Except for the part where he denied my kiss. He made it up to me later on though. We actually starting being serious around the 30th. That Sunday was the first night I stayed over. I loved being in his arms. I feel so loved and safe. The first time I saw him I knew I was going to marrying him. I know this may sound fast and weird, but I've never felt this way about anyone or anything, not even Mike. James means so much to me and it's so hard when I have to go back and deal with Mike. Last night Mike was drunk and saying things I thought he would never say, then again I never thought he would hit me. Mike was really going to kill himself. I couldn't just sit there. I went over there and talked things out. I always felt like I owed something to him. I always wonder what he would do without me or me without him. I guess it's reality now. He's gone. We're over. It's hard cause I gave that man everything I could and I felt like all I got back was nothing. But James on the other hand is different. I feel like I could give him my whole world, and he would give me his world back. See I'm James' first girlfriend and I know how he worries about the-whole-am-I-doing-things-right. I know he always feels like he could lose me at the drop of a hat. But he won't. I'm still on the defense also. It's really had to move on so fast, but I am because I love James. And he needs to know that and he also needs to know that he is the most important person in my life (besides God). Happy 1 Month Baby. I am very much in love with you and I can't wait to see you again. You make me so happy! I hate being away from you. Even if it is a few hours.
I love you James...

Here's a song...

Daniel Bedingfield-If You're not the one

If you?re not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you?re not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all

I never know what the future brings
But I know you are here with me now
We?ll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with

I don?t want to run away but I can?t take it, I don?t understand
If I?m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

If I don?t need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don?t need you then why does your name resound in my head?
If you?re not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
If you?re not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?

I don?t know why you?re so far away
But I know that this much is true
We?ll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I pray in you?re the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life

I don?t want to run away but I can?t take it, I don?t understand
If I?m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

?Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
?Cause I love you, whether it?s wrong or right
And though I can?t be with you tonight
And know my heart is by your side

I don?t want to run away but I can?t take it, I don?t understand
If I?m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

James and I got really close last night. Who knew that death plauge could do that to 2 people. I basically told him that he is my world, my everything. I made him cry. I felt bad. I've never felt this way about anyone, anything before. When I am with him I just can't get enough of him and when i'm home I miss him so much I could cry. Even when I was with Mike I never felt like this. I feel so safe in his arms, so content. We stayed up for like 5 hours just talking and kissing. It was awesome. I love being with him. I'm so glad Aaron introduced us! I've never been so happy in my entire life...

Yesterday, Aaron and Lizz went down to the courthouse dealy thingy. How awesome!! I'm so happy for yall. Friday is t he day Lizz becomes Elizabeth Lowe right? Congrats you two!!

James, Will and I went to his mom's house. That was fun, we had cheese and chocolate fondue! It was soo much fun. Then we went war driving from like 1 til 4. I think I fell asleep, but it was fun. Will and James had fun.

I feel bad cuz I guess Will was trying to ask me if he could get a ride today and I was passed out from death plaugue. Sorry Will!! I'll pick ya up.

Well I guess I should go. lol James and I just woke up at 5. I love waking up in his arms and seeing his face, knowing that I've had no one care so much for me. Hey Sweetie if you are reading this, I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

Lonestar-All the way

Hey we're walkin' through this together
and I'm holdin' on to you
Nothing can separate this little twist of fate
You're the one my heart belongs to
Nothing's quite as sweet as the journey
So lets go around the world
Takin' in everything
No matter what life brings
We're gonna be chasing forever

All the way to the end
All my life and back again
Everyday I'll be here lovin' you
All through the years and it's true
There's so much freedom in knowin'
How sure we are that we're goin'
All the way

People ask me "Think ya'll can make it"
and I tell them honestly,
"This ain't no fleetin' thing,
we're not imagining
This is it. We know it's meant to be."

Because I love you, love you completely
I've never felt like this
I don't want nothin' but
something that's passionate
Love's the only way I know how to love is

All the way to the end
All my life and back again
Everyday I'll be here lovin' you
All through the years and it's true
There's so much freedom in knowin'
How sure we are that we're goin'
All the way

Yea ooh all the way
There's so much freedom in knowin'
How sure we are that we're goin'
All the way
All the way
Ooh all the way
All the way